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Should a Person Tell His or Her Spouse about Past Love Affairs?

Past love affairs are often a source of pain and unpleasant memories, and generally not a choice topic of conversation between spouses. Yet relationships as committed as one between two spouses require certain key ingredients to achieve success. Three of these important ingredients are communication, trust and respect. The ability and willingness to be open and tell your spouse about your past love affairs is an example of all of these qualities.

Communicating your feelings as well as being able to listen to your spouse is critical to a long-lasting relationship. It is vital to be able to express how you feel and have your spouse validate those feelings through active listening. The ability to share your feelings about your past love affairs and to have them accepted by your spouse encourages open communication on even the most unpleasant topics and brings you closer to each other.

Trust is a key component in a successful relationship between spouses and eliminates any issues of jealousy. By sharing your past love affairs with your spouse, you develop a closeness that enhances mutual trust of one another. The trust shared between you and your spouse allows each of you to gain a sense of personal freedom within the relationship.
Respect in a marriage is an indication that you value your partner. If you and your spouse have a mutual respect for one another, you can share information regarding your past relationships, because you value him or her enough to be open with your innermost secrets. With mutual respect, there is no place for belittling or criticizing behavior, regardless of how unpleasant the details may sound.

While it may be difficult to tell your spouse about past love affairs, doing so brings you closer to each other, and helps develop the key ingredients essential to a successful marriage. Communication, trust and respect are principal factors in growing a relationship as important as the one between spouses.